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User blog:Atom Spark/My 54 General Rules of Life.
I know I created earlier on my old account but i'm just moving it to this account. Also, this contains stuff like censored profanity and stuff that you might think is complete and utter BS. If you think that you will be disgusted by all this, click out of here,'' NOW!'' 1. You’re f*cked on a test when the Asian kid says “sh*t” 2. All teenagers sign a contract when they turn thirteen; it gives them the excuse to do whatever the f*ck they want 3. Never trust a Sociopath 4. The Anomaly is real 5. Those with Split-Personality Disorder either end up f*cking rich or poor as hell 6. Meth is good for 3 things 6.1. Getting High 6.2. Breaking Records 6.3. F*ck-A-Thons 7. Saying “This is ghetto” in a Jewish community is one surefire way to get you jumped 8. Saying “N*gger” in The Hood is one way to guarantee you’ll never be seen again 9. Slenderman just wants a hug; he’s not a psychopathic serial killer 10. It is scientifically impossible to slap the white out of someone and make them black; it is, however, possible to slap the black off of someone and make them white 11. One does not simply clear Ontario or Burywood with a Knife in Unturned; it’s been proven impossible 12. When you turn 14, your mouth becomes programmed to automatically say “f*ck” whenever something goes wrong 13. The cry of a baby is the most beautiful thing in the world, unless it’s 3 in the morning and you don’t have a baby 14. When 2Chainz becomes Mormon, the world will end 15. If your toilet can do dubstep, your house is possessed 16. All gays wonder what p*ssy looks and tastes like 17. All lesbians wonder what d*ck looks and tastes like 18. “Friday, you sexy son of a b*tch! We’ve been looking for you since Monday!” 19. 1D is gay, no questions asked 20. When someone breaks into your house, shoot first ask questions later 21. When being hunted by a Wendigo, you either spend the rest of your life in a bunker deep underground, or you off yourself 22. Sociopaths could shoot you point-blank in the face with a hollow-tipped .45 ACP round and not give a f*ck until they die 23. Nobody’s a virgin; you lost your virginity the second your d*ck or p*ssy came out of your mom when you were born 24. Humping a pillow is okay as long as you wash it later 25. 1=1=stick, 2+2=fish, 3+3=snowman, and 4+4=ham 26. Never ask someone why they’re white 27. Gandalf beats Dumbledore, no matter what 28. The usage of a sex toy in a porno is just wrong. Nobody likes fake d*cks 29. Watching porn makes you less likely to rape someone 30. Necrophilia is just plain wrong 31. Your stuffed teddy bear is secretly Pedo-Bear in disguise 32. Never shout out ”hijack” in an airport 33. 42 is a magical age to be 34. Look at your surroundings before eating a corndog 35. Look at your surroundings before telling a black joke 36. Don’t put your hand on your head while eating a hotdog 37. “roll my windows down and cruise” is just another way of saying “get my d*ck out and bang you” 38. Half of what you learn in school is sh*t, you'll never apply it to life. 39. You can never play a rap song when a black guy is present. Otherwise you're f*cked. 40. If you suck at DayZ or even Unturned, then you're f*cked for the real zombie apocalypse. 41. Read Homestuck. 42. This is the number of life. 43. This is the number of life's brother. 44. Drumming is hard, once you get it, you're bada55. 45. Tuesday is a random day. Anything can happen on a Tuesday. 46. Caps are for noobs, SHIFTING IS FOR MEN. 47. Don't say I hate bacon on the internet. 48. Don't say I hate cats on the internet. 49. Don't say YOLO or SWAG on the internet. 51. If you're a girl, don't look at a guy when you're squeezing mayo. 52. You missed just Rule 50. 53. You said Rule 52 wrong. 54. Now you're trying to say Rule 52 right so that you don't have to admit that you did. Category:Blog posts